Love Inspired Historical October 2015 Box Set Read online

  She nodded, but he felt her trembling against him. Whether from the kiss or residual fright from yesterday, he didn’t know.

  “You didn’t have to come all the way out here.” Her voice emerged slightly muffled by his shirtfront. “Didn’t your brothers tell you I was all right?”

  “They did, but you’re wrong. I did have to come out here and see for myself.”

  He set her back slightly, far enough that he could look into her face.

  “I care about you. A lot. I mean, a man doesn’t go around constructing barns for a woman he cares nothing about.”

  Her eyes filled with tears at his words.

  “Cath—”

  She moved away from him and his arms felt incredibly empty. “We— I shouldn’t have kissed you like that.” Her eyes downcast, she went back to her milking stool. “Nothing’s really changed between us.”

  His emotion swung widely, like a pendulum. He knew she only pretended calm as she methodically forced stream after stream of milk into the pail at her feet.

  He hadn’t expected her to fall at his feet and declare that he’d been right, that she didn’t want to be alone anymore.

  But he also didn’t expect indifference.

  When his brothers had told him of Ralph’s vile verbal threats—and physical threats—to Catherine, he’d been unable to control his reaction.

  He didn’t just care for her.

  He was in love with her.

  But she wouldn’t even look at him.

  *

  Two days after the dustup with the Chestertons, Catherine spent her morning scrubbing laundry.

  The effort of scrubbing the fabric on the washboard used her entire body, and she was soon sweating, her hair clinging to her temples.

  But she was still shaking as badly as she had been two nights ago.

  She couldn’t stop thinking about what might’ve happened if Matty had never been injured, had never stopped at their homestead. Couldn’t stop thinking about his kisses. About what it might be like to really lean on him. For real.

  If she hadn’t been able to rely on him and his family, what would the Chestertons have done to her?

  For years, she’d prided herself on her independence, on not needing help from others around them.

  And then Matty had crashed into her life with the force of a thunderstorm. She’d tried to keep him at a distance, but being near him had crushed the walls she’d constructed to keep her heart safe.

  And now he was gone.

  She’d turned him away. The obstacles with Pop were too big.

  But she still wished he’d come back.

  Pop wandered out of the soddy, leaning heavily on his walking stick. She’d told him what had happened. She’d had no choice but to divulge everything when Seb escorted her back. She couldn’t blame him; she’d been completely shaken up.

  She’d worried that Pop would get lost in his memories, but he hadn’t. He’d first been angry, then quiet as he took in everything that Seb had told him.

  After what had happened keeping secrets about the Chestertons’ threats, she knew that telling him was the right thing, but it didn’t keep her from worrying that he would disappear in his memories and not come back to her.

  “You’re gonna scrub those pants to shreds, girl,” he said, hobbling her direction.

  She looked down at her hands. The trousers she’d wadded up had become damp instead of wet as she’d scrubbed them against the board. She dipped her finger in the water—it had gone cool, she’d been woolgathering so long.

  She sighed and shook out the trousers. They had gone partly dry and were a wrinkled mess.

  She dunked them in the tepid, sudsy water.

  “I suppose my mind was wandering,” she said.

  Pop grunted. “Straight to that cowboy, I ’magine.”

  Heat flushed her cheeks. Yes, Matty was part of her muddled thoughts.

  “You’ve always been content on the homestead—until recently.”

  Because she’d let the fears born from that terrifying and humiliating week in the schoolhouse strand her out here.

  She wrung out the trousers, twisting them between her hands. Water trickled down into the tub.

  She wanted something different now. She hoped that she could have a family. Friends.

  But with Pop’s health in decline, those things would have to wait.

  “I’ve been thinkin’…”

  “Dangerous words,” she said over her shoulder as she clipped the trousers to the clothesline.

  “I ain’t gonna be around forever.”

  Her heart leaped. But she spoke carefully. “Don’t talk like that.”

  She pushed her sleeve up and fished around the bottom of the washtub, searching for any remaining clothing articles. There were none, and she stood with water dripping off her hand.

  “It’s true,” he said gruffly. “And it’s time—past time—you started thinking about yourself. What’re you going to do when I’m gone?”

  She flicked the water off her hands violently. “I don’t want to think about that now. There’s no use in it.”

  “Do you think I don’t know how hard it’s been on you when I’m…not myself?”

  Dementia. The word, the diagnosis the cowboy doctor had given rang through her head.

  “What if I lash out at you again? What if I hurt you again? I don’t like you being here alone anymore. Not the way things are going.”

  Hot tears burned her throat, but what could she say to that? “There are no easy solutions here, Pop,” she whispered.

  “Not if you’re scared.”

  She held up her damp hands helplessly.

  “Ever since you were a little thing, you hated taking risks. But a man like that ain’t gonna wait around forever.”

  Now she whirled to face Pop head-on. “What?” Her words were laced with a laugh, but it was mostly hysterical.

  “Your cowboy. Matty White. If he ain’t in love with you now, he’s well on his way. And unless I’m imagining things again, you feel the same for him.”

  Heat rushed into her cheeks, but she couldn’t deny it.

  “So what’re you gonna do about it?”

  She shrugged, keeping her eyes low so maybe he wouldn’t see the pain caused by his words. “What can I do? He’s firmly ensconced in town. In his family. And you and I belong here.”

  He scrutinized her with narrowed eyes. “Who says you can’t belong in town?”

  Luella. Michaela. Those women years ago who’d belittled, insulted her mother.

  “I had my reasons for hiding out on the homestead when I came back from the war, but your mama…well, maybe she could’ve made people forget what they wanted to talk about, if she would’ve tried a little harder. What she thought was a big deal, don’t have to be a big deal for you.”

  She swallowed hard, hope beating painfully in her chest. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying, I think you should make plans to attend worship services in town tomorrow.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Catherine slipped into the Bear Creek church after worship had already started. The voices of the congregation rose in mostly harmonious singing as the people stood in praise.

  An empty pew at the back beckoned and she slipped in there.

  She’d donned her mother’s dress again, and being out of her usual outfit had her feeling uncomfortable in her skin. But if she planned to be in society more, shouldn’t she get used to dressing this way?

  Did she really plan to be seen in town more? The truth was, she didn’t have a real plan. Not yet. But if Matty hadn’t given up on her…

  She couldn’t do anything about her shorn hair. It was the most noticeable thing that made her stand out from the other women.

  Through the sea of people—enough to make her stomach constrict with nervousness—she spotted Matty’s blond head near the front of the sanctuary. Upon closer observation, she saw his family in the pew next to him. And behind him.

/>   They were such a large part of the community.

  Nervousness made her hands shake as she gripped the pew back in front of her. There was no use pretending to use the hymnal when she couldn’t read the words inside. The tune was something she’d heard her mother sing as a child, but she was too afraid to mess it up to sing loudly.

  A young woman in the pew directly in front of Catherine turned to glance over her shoulder as the preacher gave the direction to sit down. Her eyes widened even as Catherine smiled tentatively at her. She whirled back to face the front. But moments later, she leaned to whisper to the older woman—her mother?—sitting next to her.

  Surely the timing of that whisper was coincidental. It would be vanity to think the young woman was talking about her.

  The preacher shared several pieces of community news.

  Two rows up, a pair of heads twisted, maybe drawn by the movement behind them. Catherine recognized one of the two women. Luella McKeever.

  Their eyes met for a fraction of a second before Luella whipped back to face the front.

  Catherine must be imagining the whispers that seemed to be traveling through the entire sanctuary. Why would anyone care that she attended church?

  But that didn’t stop her hands from trembling or the hot flush that no doubt turned her face tomato red.

  She tried to regulate her breathing and focus on the preacher leading the congregation in a prayer.

  But after his rousing amen she was sure that she heard whispers perk right back up.

  Those long-ago doubts and insecurities rose like a tide. She fisted her hands in her lap and bowed her head, squeezing her eyes closed. She was imagining things. Giving things a meaning when they had none.

  And she wasn’t eight years old anymore.

  She was strong enough to maintain an entire homestead.

  And Matty believed in her.

  She raised her head and worked at releasing her fisted fingers, relaxing her hands. She had a right to be here, a right to hear the message just like anyone else.

  She stopped looking at the other worshippers and focused on the man in the pulpit, delivering a reading from the Bible.

  But with her eyes focused forward, she couldn’t help but see when Matty twisted in his seat. His eyes traveled over the gathered people until he met her gaze squarely.

  The wide smile that spread over his lips loosened some of the tension coiling so tightly inside her.

  Then, to her utter shock, he stood and edged his way toward the center aisle.

  “’Scuse me.”

  Though his voice was pitched low, in the quietness of the sanctuary, Matty’s words were plainly audible.

  He moved past his mama, Seb and Breanna and then out into the aisle. Seb and Breanna craned their necks back until Penny must’ve hissed something at them, and then they grudgingly turned to face forward.

  And then Catherine couldn’t see anything other than the handsome cowboy who filled the aisle and her view. He scooted into the pew next to her.

  Her face still burned at the commotion they’d jointly caused—more people had turned to look at them—but joy filled her. Her cowboy had come for her.

  He closed his hand around hers. Their shoulders brushed.

  “Hi,” he whispered softly.

  The preacher called them to stand for another hymn. Matty’s strong baritone rang out from beside her, giving her courage to follow him in song.

  When the preacher directed them to sit again and began his sermon, the crowd’s attention remained with him. Whether it was because they’d gotten a look at the newcomer and their curiosity was satisfied, or because of Matty’s presence beside her, she didn’t know.

  But the courage she’d gained before he’d stood up and come to sit with her was enough.

  *

  Matty kept Catherine at his side after worship was over.

  He didn’t know why she’d come, but joy filled him at her mere presence beside him.

  They stood with the midday sunlight beating down on their bare heads. For a while they were surrounded by his family. His sisters-in-law all took turns hugging her, while his brothers welcomed her. The nieces and nephews and Jonas and Penny’s younger kids swarmed around, running through the adults and then off to play with friends.

  Penny stood to one side as the rest of them filtered away, talking with friends or loading up.

  “We’d love for you to come out and join us for the noon meal.” Penny’s face was shining. She placed a hand on Catherine’s arm.

  Before Catherine could respond, Luella approached.

  “Matty, can I talk to you for a minute?”

  Catherine stiffened at his side.

  “Morning, Catherine,” Luella greeted belatedly.

  “Morning,” Catherine murmured.

  He didn’t want to leave Catherine, not when she’d taken such a big step in coming—alone—to worship this morning. And he couldn’t imagine what it would look like if he abandoned her for Luella.

  “Please. It’s important,” Luella said.

  “I’ll keep Catherine company for a few moments,” his ma said. Curiosity shone in the depths of her eyes, but they’d had a few talks about what Catherine meant to him and he knew Penny wouldn’t let her come to harm, even from the town gossips.

  He followed Luella toward her family’s wagon, though they stopped well out of earshot of both her family and his.

  She clutched her hands together in front of her midsection. A sure sign of nervousness.

  “Well?” he asked.

  She frowned at him, but then must’ve thought better of it because she suddenly smiled. “I think…I made a mistake. When I told you not to come courting anymore.”

  Her words caught him completely by surprise. “What?” He took off his hat, rubbed a finger up the bridge of his nose.

  “I… We’d been courting for a while and you didn’t seem to be interested in moving any faster. I didn’t want to wait forever to get married. So I thought…” She swallowed nervously. “I thought if I ended things, it might spur you on to making a decision once you saw what you were missing.”

  “So you broke things off…to get me to be more serious about our relationship?” It didn’t make sense to him. At all.

  Tears filled her eyes, and she shrugged. A few weeks ago, he would’ve been taken in by her visible emotions. He would’ve done whatever she wanted, got down on one knee and proposed right then and there.

  But now he looked over his shoulder, wanting to make sure Catherine was being taken care of.

  When he turned back to her, Luella leaned to one side, her eyes following the path his gaze had taken only seconds ago. Her expression hardened slightly. “I never expected you to get hurt, or to…”

  “To fall for someone else?” he finished gently. Because it was the truth. He’d fallen hard for Catherine and there was no going back. “Luella, I’m glad we were friends during school and I’m glad we’re still friends, but…what I feel for you doesn’t go anything past that. Not anymore.” And it probably never had.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Her eyes flashed. “What do you see in her anyway? She’s…”

  “She’s a woman I care very deeply for,” he said firmly. “And if I hear anyone spreading gossip about her, malicious or otherwise, I’d have a problem with it. We didn’t treat her right when we were children, but we can choose to do differently now.”

  He paused.

  “And that’s what I expect from you, my friend.”

  *

  Catherine knelt near one of the Whites’ two wagons—because their family was so large they couldn’t travel in a single conveyance—listening to Oscar and Sarah’s toddler girl explain something about the Bible class the young children had been dismissed to.

  She couldn’t decipher all the words and was relieved when Matty came around the side of the wagon.

  “Unca Matty!”

  He swung the girl up in his arms, and she laid her head on his shoul
der.

  Kind of like Catherine longed to do.

  One small thumb popped into the little bow mouth.

  Curling up against the cowboy probably wouldn’t be appropriate, not here in the churchyard. What a little girl could get away with…well, didn’t mean Catherine could get away with it. And she desperately didn’t want to embarrass him.

  But he surprised her even as he took her hand, laced their fingers together.

  Her eyes cut to where she’d last seen him standing with Luella. She’d experienced such a powerful pull of jealousy she’d had to fist her hands at her sides. But she’d somehow maintained a facade of calm in front of Matty’s mother and then been distracted by the young girl.

  “I can’t come for lunch,” she said softly. “Not this time. Will your mother be offended?”

  He squeezed her hand. “No. Not if there’s a next time.”

  She lifted her chin. After all he’d done for her, saying the words was the least she could do for him. “I’d…I’d like it if you would come calling.”

  He held her gaze for a long moment, then very deliberately set the little girl down and told her to go find her ma. When he straightened, he took both of her hands in his, edged her slightly closer than she had been before.

  “I thought you were dead set against me. Too many things in the way. What changed your mind?”

  “Pop.” She swallowed back the grief. This wasn’t the time for that emotion, not yet. “He’s been slowly sinking into the…dementia—” she barely stumbled over the word “—for years. This season has been especially bad. And he told me in a lucid moment that he didn’t want me to be alone. That I shouldn’t let fear stop me from being with you. Because I…”

  Her eyes had flitted around during her confession, not settling on any one place on him. But now Matty squeezed her hands firmly, and she forced her eyes to meet his gaze.

  “Because you…”

  “…care about you, too,” she whispered.

  “I wish we weren’t in such a public place,” he said. “I’d really like to kiss you right now.”

  Frantically, she glanced around. Until he jiggled her hands slightly. “I might’ve been a tease back in our school days, but I’ll do my best to keep from embarrassing you now.”