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Someone Old: sweet contemporary romance (Jilted in Sawyer Creek Book 1) Page 6
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"Hey."
This felt... incredibly awkward. Was she supposed to hug him? She was glad to see him, even if her heart hadn't slammed against her ribs the way it had when she'd seen Jax for the first time in three years.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
He nodded. Then shook his head. "I don't… I'm so sorry. I should've… should've done a lot of things."
She gripped the post, hard. "If you were having second thoughts, why didn't you talk to me?"
He rolled his shoulders, a sign of his discomfort. "Because... it was stupid. I kept thinking that if we went through with it, everything would be fine. Once we were married, I could make you happy enough that you wouldn't…" He swallowed hard. "But when it came down to the wire, I just... I knew you still had feelings for him."
She didn't have to ask who the him was. Oh, Nicholas.
He looked as miserable as she felt. "If you had accused me of that two days ago, I would've laughed in your face, but..."
But.
The last thirty-six hours had made her question everything. And Jax showing up out of the blue had been a big part of it.
She sat heavily on a bench built into the gazebo. "If you asked me today, I don't know what my answer would be."
She hated herself for being so weak-minded.
They remained in silence for a long stretch.
"When we first started dating, you didn't want to talk about him at all," Nicholas said. "And I was so infatuated with you, I didn't care. But the longer we were together... I kept thinking you'd finally let me in, but you kept your broken heart to yourself."
He was right. She'd been afraid to re-open the wounds she'd received when Jax had broken up with her. Afraid of what it meant if they weren't healed. This wedding fiasco was as much her fault as it was Nicholas's.
She sniffled back the tears that threatened. "And then I wanted to push up the wedding because of my dad."
He nodded. "And I went along with it."
She needed him to know. "If we had gotten married, I never would've been unfaithful to you."
She didn't see how he could believe her, not when she'd run right out and spent most of the last day with Jax. She’d even fallen asleep in his embrace.
But he was nodding. "No, but he would've always had first place in your heart. I've never been good at being second place. Just ask Wilder."
"You should be first place," she whispered through a throat choked with tears. Nicholas had been good to her. He’d pulled her out of that dark place, helped her reunite with her dad. He was a good man.
But he wasn't Jax. He wasn’t the man who'd made her believe in love in the first place. The man who'd faced down his demons because she'd demanded it. The man who'd captured her heart and never given it back.
A tear slipped free. "I'm sorry, too."
Claire didn't know where to go from here. She'd built her life around Nicholas, around a marriage that was never going to happen. How did she go on?
"Maybe it's time for you to chase him," Nicholas said, as if he'd followed the trajectory of her thoughts.
She looked at him. Really looked at him. Saw the sincere love in his eyes. Saw that he was letting her go.
"It's okay," he said. "I'll be okay."
But she didn't know if she would. Did she deserve Jax's love after everything that had happened, then and now?
He should've gone back to Dallas.
Instead, Jax found himself out in the boonies under a canopy of scrub oaks on the bank of Sawyer Creek.
Because he was just that pitiful.
At least the combination of the trees, the late afternoon breeze, and the fact that the sun was setting gave him some relief from the day's heat.
Too bad there was no relief for his heart.
He'd finally figured it out, after all this time.
Claire was his home. His touchstone. The reason he'd never been able to forget Texas, not completely.
Even the aftermath of his visit with his dad was only a phantom ache. There was a time it would've left him gutted. He’d gotten through it because Claire was at his side.
But she didn't belong to him.
Blood always outs.
His father's words still rang in his head. He tried to shake them loose.
He bent and picked up a smooth stone from the ground. There'd been a turnoff—a dirt path really—just after the bridge on the way out of town. He'd parked off the road and walked down here where the creek widened. The clear water trickled over a mix of brown and silver rocks on the creek bed.
He aimed and threw. His rock skipped four times and sank heavily into the water.
He should go. Claire was with Nicholas. If the guy had smartened up at all, he'd be heading for the nearest judge and getting that ring on her finger. Like Jax should've.
A car door closed, and Jax's head whipped around.
There was Claire, picking her way through the taller grass before the woods cleared into soft dirt and half-decayed leaves.
She was so beautiful that it made him ache. She'd changed clothes. Not into a sundress, like he might've expected. She’d always worn sundresses back then. Now, she wore jeans, a red tank top, and strappy sandals on her feet. She was breathtaking.
She looked up at him once, then back down at her feet as she navigated the bank. She put out one hand and touched the trunk of a massive elm for balance. "I saw your truck."
She sounded slightly breathless. Maybe even happy to see him. No, that was just his imagination, reaching again.
"Yeah?" Maybe if good 'ol Nick hadn't called her earlier, he'd have had some hope. But this felt suspiciously like a goodbye.
"Yeah." She stopped several feet away, too far for him to reach out and touch her. Her gaze hit his face, and he read the concern there. "What your dad said... earlier…"
Blood always outs.
He bit down on the frustrated noise that wanted to escape his throat. He couldn't look at her, not if the only reason she was here was to give him friendly comfort. He looked away, out at the water.
"It's not true. You know that, right?"
He nodded, because that's what she expected.
"Jax."
Of course she wouldn’t let it go that easily. She wouldn't be the woman he loved if she would.
If this was the end, better to face it. He turned his gaze back to her. The fierce conviction in her expression made his gut twist. Made him want to beg her not to say goodbye.
"It's not true," she repeated.
"My head wants to believe it." He touched his brow, then his heart. "But here..." He exhaled. Shook his head.
She took a step toward him. "Then maybe..." A deep breath. "I'll have to believe it for you. Until you start to believe it, too."
His heart pounded as wild hope crashed through him. Because that sounded like...
He didn't dare think it.
He bent and picked up another smooth stone. Turned away from her to the creek.
She stepped beside him. Crouched for a moment, and then straightened.
"If you're talking about being friends, that's never going to be enough for me." He flung the rock, watched it skip three times and sink. "I want more."
She said nothing for a long time as he squinted at the shadows on the water's surface. Long enough for him to regret the blunt honesty.
She tossed her rock, and he counted the skips. Eight. Nine. Ten. It slipped into the water with a soft ploop.
"I always wanted to come here," he said. "You told me about Sawyer Creek once. About the time before your mom and dad split, and I was just... jealous. It sounded like heaven."
In his periphery, he saw her tilt her head back to take in the sky darkening above the treetops. When she said nothing, he added, "It kind of is, isn't it?"
Her silence on the subject was telling.
If this was goodbye, he wanted it to be over.
She turned toward him, and he couldn't help the force of gravity that pulled his body to mirror hers.
>
Her eyes were soft and luminous as she looked up at him. "Friendship would never be enough for me either."
The breath he'd inhaled was now lodged in his chest, so tight he started to feel lightheaded. "Are you saying...? Claire, I want to be with you. Still. Always. I love you."
Saying the words, putting it out there, made him uneasy. When they'd dated in college, she'd been the one to say it first, allowing him the security of knowing she returned his feelings before he'd had to commit to them.
But after all this, didn't she deserve to hear it first?
Her eyes fluttered closed, then squeezed tight, and he dared to take the half-step to close the distance between them. He took both her hands in his, twining their fingers together.
"I want to try," she whispered. “To be together again.”
He brushed a kiss to her cheek, then touched his forehead to hers.
"I don't know if the trust that was broken between us can be rebuilt," she confessed softly.
That was a hit, but he squeezed her hands gently. "You'll never know how sorry I am that I let you go."
Her eyes opened, and she gazed at him. He tried to send her silent promises that he wouldn't let her down again, that he'd be everything she needed—even if it meant turning himself inside out.
"And Nicholas?" he asked.
She shook her head slightly. "Turns out, he was the one who realized I still had feelings for you. That's why..."
Huh. Maybe the guy wasn't such a jerk after all. Jax would've taken the selfish road and stolen her away, but good 'ol Nick had set her free.
Her expression was vulnerable, open. "Can we take things slowly?"
He nodded, their foreheads bumping gently. Anything. He'd give her anything she wanted.
Jax let go of one of her hands and cupped her jaw. "Can I please kiss you? For a day and a half, I've been dying to."
A slow smile spread across her lips, and he took that for his answer, dropping his head to join their lips.
He'd been right. Kissing her was like coming home.
Chapter 7
Three Months Later
Claire let her gaze swing around the interior of the Dallas Coyotes' home stadium. Since she and Jax had agreed to rebuild their relationship, she'd watched numerous home games. Usually from the special box two levels up, the one reserved for team spouses and girlfriends.
But today, Jax had asked her to sit in the stands. She hadn't realized the ticket he'd had couriered to her would put her on the second row, just behind the catcher.
She'd jumped twice when her attention had wandered and the ball had thwacked forcefully into the catcher's mitt.
Jax had started the game. Six innings in, he was still in the zone and throwing well. He'd been utterly focused on the game, even though he had to be able to see her from this close.
She was trying to make herself as small as possible. She didn't want to break his concentration.
She loved watching him play. He'd been focused in college, more so than any of his teammates. But this was another level.
He played as if he were still proving himself.
Her dad's prediction had come true. Jax was nearing the end of his first season in the majors, and there was constant media buzz about him being a contender for Rookie of the Year. His ERA was the third best in the league.
He couldn't walk down the street without fans flocking around him, including tons of women.
But his attention never wavered from Claire. Not once.
Her dad had passed away two months ago. Jax had been by her side the entire time, even taking an approved absence from a couple of games. In the end, she'd been able to forgive him for his desertion. And he'd been in such pain those last few weeks that she had been relieved when he passed. Her grief still caught her unaware sometimes, but she was incandescently happy with Jax.
Without anything tying her to Sawyer Creek, she'd decided to take a job at the Children's Hospital in Dallas. Being closer to Jax meant seeing more of him. Much more. Even so, he was frequently away for days at a time.
She'd worn out her phone’s battery taking his constant video calls. And working with the kids she loved kept her from going stir-crazy while her famous boyfriend was gone.
Jax hadn't let her sell her dad's house. He'd wanted to keep it, to have a place they could retreat to during the off-season. He'd already been talking about going back.
She loved their time together, but between the media and his intense schedule, she couldn't wait to have some down time for them to just be.
Right now, the last Dallas batter was two strikes in, and then they'd have the seventh-inning stretch. She'd been waiting. She wanted to grab a Coke.
But as the pitcher wound up, a college-aged girl in a team T-shirt appeared at Claire's elbow, distracting her.
"Hey, Miss Davidson," the girl chirped. "You're supposed to come with me."
Um, what? "I'm—" Claire gestured to the game playing out before them. Except the Coyotes player had struck out, and the fielders were jogging toward the dugout.
"Boss's orders," the girl said.
Whose orders? Claire didn't know this girl.
She took Claire's arm as if she was going to physically pull her out of the seat.
"Okay, okay."
Claire gave one longing glance up the stadium stairs to her missed concession opportunity. She followed the girl, surprised when they went down instead of up, and even more surprised when the girl opened a little gate and motioned for Claire to go out on the field.
She hesitated.
And then a beefy security guard motioned her forward. "C'mon." Had he winked at her?
Claire's brain was whirling. What was going on? Was Jax hurt? He’d used a pinch-hitter, so she hadn't seen him since he'd jogged off the field at the bottom of the last inning.
The deep-voiced announcer spoke over the loudspeaker, but the words were garbled in her ears as she made her way down a narrow metal staircase.
And then the loudspeaker guy got real clear. "Stay in your seats, folks. We're forgoing the usual rendition of Take Me Out to the Ballgame because we've got a special treat for you. You won't want to miss this.'"
Claire froze as she caught sight of the Jumbotron on the opposite end of the field. Somewhere there was a camera pointed right at her. Zoomed in so that the perplexed expression on her face was visible for every single person in the stadium to see.
"Miss, if you please." The security guard motioned her toward the pitcher's mound.
Where Jax stood.
The rest of the field was empty.
"C'mere," he called out, his voice carrying clearly over the sixty some-odd feet to where she stood at home plate.
Her knees wobbled as she started across the green expanse toward him.
What was he doing? Was this—? There was only one reason—one big reason—she could imagine him making a big spectacle out of her.
The butterflies in her stomach took flight.
Jax didn't look nervous at all. He was handsome in his home whites—the white and navy-trimmed uniform—his head bare. His hair was slightly mussed, but it just made him look more gorgeous.
Claire's swirling thoughts narrowed to a single point of focus—him—as her sandaled feet hit the pitcher's mound.
He reached for her hands and held them both loosely in his. He was shaking.
"What're you doing?" she whispered. She tried not to move her mouth, knowing that with that camera focused on her, every fan in the stadium could read her lips.
He laughed a little, his smile wry. "I'm really nervous."
His voice boomed out of the loudspeakers, and she realized someone had mic'd him. A thin black wire and tiny microphone were visible at the neckline of his jersey.
He was nervous.
The knowledge settled her own nerves. "It's okay," she whispered. "Ask me."
Of course she'd figured it out. Claire was too smart for him to fool for long.
Jax loved her des
perately. And he knew she loved him back.
Which meant popping the question should be easy.
He hadn't expected the nerves. Apparently, there was still some part of that scared boy inside who knew there was a chance she'd say no. He wanted to shut that voice up forever.
He went to one knee, still holding Claire's hands.
The crowd went wild, yelling and screaming, stomping on the bleachers, someone even blew an airhorn. He could only guess how many cell phones were videoing them right now.
When he'd pitched the idea to the team's head of PR, they'd loved it. Apparently, the rookie who'd come home to Texas could do no wrong.
He could only hope.
"Claire..." He exhaled shakily. Cleared his throat to start over. He was more nervous than he’d been at his first big league game. "I still remember the first time I saw you. I knew you were an all-star and I was a little leaguer."
The crowd cheered again.
"Somehow, fate decided to give me a shot with you, and I fell hard. I've never stopped falling. Every day, I find something new to love about you."
There was an audible aww from the crowd this time.
Claire blinked. Her eyes looked suspiciously damp, and he found himself fighting a knot in his throat.
"I want to wake up with you every day. Go to sleep with you beside me. Have some kids I can coach in little league. Whatever comes, I just want to be with you."
She squeezed his hands, hard.
"Claire, I love you. Will you marry me?"
"Yes."
Jubilation exploded in his chest. He jumped up and swept her into his arms, and off her feet. He spun them both in a circle.
The crowd was going wild. The airhorn went off again. Tons of cell phones flashed as people took pictures.
He slowed the spin to a stop and gently set her feet back on the ground.
"I love you, too," she said.
With those words, his nervousness went away. He let go of her and worked at wiggling off the diamond ring he'd jammed onto his pinkie—no pockets in his uniform.
She gasped when he placed it on her ring finger. The one carat solitaire he'd chosen glittered in the stadium lights. She could choose something different later, if she wanted. All he cared was that she'd wear his ring. That she'd said yes.